When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need......
I got an urgent bilateral antegrade stenting appointment for a cervical ca pt with obstructive uropathy... Hopefully with the stenting she can undergo radio therapy sooner...
After i got the appointment date which is the next day, i tell the pt's husband regarding this...
We sit down, i explained, i draw and illustrated... He hesitated... He wanna try traditional method... He got a few friends with similar problem healed after trying the traditional way....
I say fine... I give time for you to think and decide.... But deep inside my heart i hope they do it.... Traditional way to cure ca? I dont believe it, but i respect what they want....
On the same night the patient husband went to my boss and complain about me...
I dont know what is that about probably i pushed them too hard on the procedure...
Finally they refused for the procedure.....
I cried... I hide myself behind the ward and tear stream down my face and i just cant control them... This is not the first time i cry since i started my life as a doctor for one and half year... Each time for different reason...
"Treating illness is why we became doctors. Treating patients is actually what makes most doctors miserable." -House MD
It is sometimes true... But I dont agree with this...
I remember few days ago i met a patient of mine during Ortho...
He has a fall and sustained Rt intertrochanteric fracture...
Planned for op initally however cancelled as we found his right lung is totally white from pre-op CXR...
We then go for conservative mx...
He is leaving in a nursing home... He is single and have no child....
At least he can sit on a wheelchair when he discharged from ward, after few weeks of skeletal traction....
I met him outside ED... He came for some followup...
He smiled, he actually laugh when he saw me... We shake hands...
I have to run for some urgent stuff and we didnt chat much...
That reunion really make my day...
There are a lot of other forms of reward in life of a doctor...
If the only motivation of work is your salary, then i suggest you to quit and get a office job....
I just need a small break...
I will pick myself up...
I will carry on.....
1 comment:
Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always. Not all patient appreciate your efforts. But I believe eventually most patient/family member recognise and appreciate our efforts. Perhaps they just need some time. To be able to get treatment in such a resourceful hospital is a blessing. Some rural districts with limited facilities and remote areas, even making a diagnosis by further investigations (computed tomography, echocardiograms, etc) is limited by logistic/financial limitations. Some patients who possibly can be saved in secondary/tertiary hospitals are treated conservatively. And that is the challenge face by doctors. When patient acknowledge your efforts, the satisfaction is more than words. Generally patients in rural districts appreciate doctors much more than those town dwellers. There is a lot more of doctors needed in rural areas. Take up the challenge!
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